A great custom song needs six things from you: who it is for, the occasion, two or three specific memories, the names and phrases that must appear, the feeling you want, and the sound (genre, voice, tempo). Add a short list of things to leave out, and the writers have what they need. Everything below shows how to gather each piece in about 15 minutes, with examples you can adapt.
TL;DR
- Lead with specifics: a nickname, a place, a habit or one scene beats a paragraph of general praise.
- Tell the writers the recipient, the occasion and the feeling you want the song to leave behind.
- Choose the sound last: genre, voice, tempo and up to two reference songs.
- Flag pronunciations and off-limits topics before you submit, not after you hear the first draft.
- Occasion changes the checklist: a wedding, a memorial and a business jingle each need different details.
Table of Contents
- Start with who the song is for and why
- The stories and details that make a song feel personal
- Choose the sound: genre, voice, tempo and references
- What to leave out (or flag clearly)
- What to include by occasion
- A worked example: from rough notes to a strong brief
- How we think about a good brief
- Ordering your song with DearSong
- Quick checklist before you submit
- FAQ
- Sources
Start with who the song is for and why
Before any details, answer two plain questions: who is this song for, and what should it do when they hear it? A birthday song might make a mother laugh. A memorial song might give a family something to sing together. An anniversary song might say thank you for 20 years.
That purpose guides everything else. Songwriting educator Pat Pattison argues that choosing the point of view early can reveal what a song is really about and where it goes. For a gift, the practical version is simple. Decide whether the song is sung to the person ("you"), about them ("she"), or from a group ("we"). Then say who the song is from, because the writers need to know whether it comes from you alone, from the whole family, or from a team.
A useful one-line summary to open your brief:
A funny, warm song from the three of us to our dad, who turns 60 and has told the same fishing story at every holiday for 30 years.
That sentence already covers recipient, sender, occasion, tone and a story. Everything after it just adds detail.
The stories and details that make a song feel personal
Generic songs are built from generic words: "love", "forever", "special". Personal songs are built from things only you would know. The most common mistake in a brief is writing adjectives ("she is kind, generous, funny") instead of evidence ("she drives forty minutes to bring soup when anyone is sick").
Choose two or three real memories
You do not need a life story. Two or three concrete memories give a songwriter enough to build verses and a chorus around. Good memories have a place, an action and ideally a small surprising detail.
- Weak: "We always had fun on vacation."
- Strong: "Every August we drove to Lake Michigan, and he lost the car keys in the sand three years in a row."
If you are stuck, ask yourself: what story does everyone tell about this person when they are not in the room? That repeated story is usually the heart of the song.
Gather names, nicknames and phrases
List every name the song might need: first names, nicknames, pet names, the kids' names, the dog's name. Add sayings the person repeats ("Let's not and say we did", "Easy does it"). A single catchphrase worked into a chorus can make a listener smile in the first ten seconds.
Add places and objects
A street, a diner booth, a pickup truck, a recipe, a kitchen radio. Objects and places anchor a song in a real life. Three or four are plenty.
Name the feeling, not just the facts
Decide whether the song should celebrate, comfort, thank, remember or make peace. Pick one main emotion and, if you like, one secondary one ("mostly joyful, with a lump in the throat at the end"). Writers can handle a mix, but they cannot guess it.
Choose the sound: genre, voice, tempo and references
Once the story is clear, the sound choices become easier, because they serve the message instead of competing with it.
| Choice | What to tell the writers | Example |
|---|---|---|
| Genre | The style the recipient actually listens to, not the one you like best | Acoustic country for a dad who plays Johnny Cash in the truck |
| Voice | Male, female, duet or a feel (warm, raspy, soft) | A gentle female voice for a lullaby-style song for a newborn niece |
| Tempo | Slow, mid-tempo or upbeat | Upbeat for a 40th birthday party, slow for a first dance |
| Mood | Two or three words | Nostalgic, playful, tender |
| Reference songs | Up to two, with a note on what you like about each | "The groove of this one, the simple chorus of that one" |
A reference song is most helpful when you say why you picked it. "I like the warm piano" tells a writer far more than a title alone. If the recipient has a favorite era or artist, mention it; if they hate a genre, say that too.
What to leave out (or flag clearly)
The details you exclude matter as much as the ones you include. Before you submit, check these:
- Pronunciation. Uncommon names are easy to mispronounce. Write them phonetically ("Siobhan, SHIV-awn") and mention which syllable is stressed.
- Names the person does not use. A birth name they dropped, a nickname they dislike, or a former surname can sour a gift.
- Sensitive topics. Illness, money, family rifts, politics and religion are best left out unless they are the point and the recipient would welcome them.
- Ex-partners and old relationships. Unless it is a joke everyone is in on, skip them.
- Embarrassing material. A roast can be a great birthday song, but only if the person enjoys being teased in front of a crowd. Ask yourself whether they would laugh at the party or quietly wince.
Intake-form guidance from SongHQ makes the same points: clarify pronunciation and identify private subjects and potentially embarrassing material before writing begins. A short "please do not mention" line in your brief takes ten seconds and prevents most disappointments.
What to include by occasion
The core checklist stays the same, but each occasion has a few extras.
Birthday songs
Include the age (or deliberately leave it out), one signature personality trait, a running joke and a favorite place or hobby. Decide whether the song should be funny, sentimental or both. For ideas and ready prompts, see these custom birthday song ideas, or order a custom birthday song directly.
Anniversary songs
Give the year you met, how you met, one hard stretch you got through together, and one small daily ritual (coffee on the porch, the goodnight text). A song that covers the whole journey in three short scenes works better than one that lists every year. Our guide to anniversary song brief details goes deeper. If you want a written message to sit alongside the song, these anniversary message styles and examples can help you match the words to the occasion. You can also start a custom anniversary song right away.
Wedding and first-dance songs
Tell the writers where the song will be played: first dance, aisle walk, ceremony, proposal or vow renewal. Each moment has a different length and energy. Include both partners' names with pronunciation, how you met, the moment you knew, and a phrase from your vows if you want it echoed. Mention the tempo you can comfortably dance to. More moment-by-moment prompts are in our wedding song ideas, and the custom wedding song page starts an order.
Love songs for a partner
Pick three moments: the first one, a funny one, and one that shows how they care for you. Add their nickname and the thing they do that no one else notices. Browse romantic song gift ideas for more angles, or go straight to a custom love song.
Family, friends and pets
For a parent, grandparent or sibling, collect sayings, habits, the family nickname and one story the family repeats. Family song briefs offer ten copyable examples. For a best friend, inside jokes and shared disasters are gold; see our friendship song ideas. For a pet, include the name, breed quirks, the spot on the couch, the walk route, and the sound they make when you open the treat drawer.
Memorial and tribute songs
Decide first whether the song should comfort, celebrate or remember. Then include the person's name as the family said it, a few phrases they used, places that were theirs, and what you want people to feel when it plays. Say if there are subjects the family would rather leave out. Our memorial song prompts and checklist keep this gentle and quick.
Business jingles
A jingle brief is different because the song serves a goal. Include the business name and how to pronounce it, the tagline, the one thing customers should remember, the audience, where it will play (social video, podcast, team event, brand film) and the length you need. Mention the tone: friendly, premium, playful. Tell the writers any words to avoid, such as competitor names or claims you cannot back up. If you plan to use it commercially, confirm the licensing up front. Our business jingle service is written to your brief and includes commercial-use licensing.
A worked example: from rough notes to a strong brief
Say you want a song for your mother's 65th birthday. Rough notes:
Mom, Linda, everyone calls her Lin. Loves gardening and old Motown. Always says "Well, I'll be." Sunday phone calls. Raised three of us alone.
Turned into a brief:
- Recipient and sender: Linda ("Lin"), from her three kids, Maya, Dan and Chris.
- Occasion: 65th birthday, played at a backyard party.
- Memories: The tomato plants she grows every summer and hands out to neighbors; Sunday-evening phone calls that always last an hour; the year she drove all night to get Dan to a tournament.
- Phrases: "Well, I'll be" in the chorus.
- Feeling: Grateful and joyful, with one tender verse about raising three kids on her own.
- Sound: Motown-inspired, upbeat, a warm female voice, one reference song with a note about the handclaps.
- Leave out: Her ex-husband, her age in the lyrics, and any mention of her health.
That took about ten minutes to write, and every line gives the songwriter something to work with.
How we think about a good brief
We read a lot of briefs, and the pattern is consistent: the best songs rarely come from the longest briefs. They come from briefs with a clear feeling and three or four vivid details. Customers often worry they are not writers, but you do not have to be. Tell us the story the way you would tell it to a friend, in plain sentences, and we can shape the lyrics.
Our form asks for the recipient's name, the occasion, memories, nicknames, places, personal details, mood, genre, voice, tempo and up to two reference songs. If you are unsure about a field, leave it blank rather than guessing, and put your energy into the memories. The delivery clock starts once the completed form is submitted, so a few extra minutes up front are worth it.
One more habit worth keeping: read your brief aloud. If a line could describe anyone's mother, partner or best friend, replace it with something only you would know.
— Vlad
Ordering your song with DearSong
The process takes minutes. You choose a package and pay securely, then fill in the short song-details form right after payment. The Essential package is $35 and includes one original song of up to three minutes, an MP3 download, a private YouTube link and delivery within 24 hours of the completed form. Signature is $89 and adds priority 12-hour delivery, two versions, a lyric rewrite and a printable gift poster. No account is needed, and there is a money-back guarantee.
If you have a deadline, our guide to custom song turnaround time explains how to plan around it.
Quick checklist before you submit
- Recipient's name, nickname and pronunciation.
- Who the song is from.
- Occasion and where it will be played.
- Two or three specific memories.
- Names, places and phrases that must appear.
- One main feeling, plus an optional second.
- Genre, voice, tempo and up to two reference songs, with why you chose them.
- A "please leave out" list.
FAQ
How much detail does a custom song brief need?
Two or three specific memories and a handful of names or phrases are enough. More detail helps only if it is vivid. A short, concrete brief beats a long, vague one.
Should I include the recipient's name in the lyrics?
Usually yes, especially for birthdays, weddings and anniversaries, and it helps to include nicknames too. Add a phonetic spelling for uncommon names so they are sung correctly.
Can I ask for a particular genre or voice?
Yes. Choose the genre the recipient actually enjoys and name a voice style such as male, female, duet or warm and soft. You can also share up to two reference songs and explain what you like about them.
What if I am not good at writing or telling stories?
You do not need to be. Write short notes in plain language: who, where, what happened, what it meant. The writers turn those facts into lyrics.
What should I leave out of a custom song?
Skip ex-partners, sensitive topics and anything the recipient would find embarrassing in front of others. If a name is not used by the person anymore, flag it so it is not included.